Can I be honest with you about something?

Motherhood can be incredibly lonely.

You're surrounded by people — little people who need you constantly — and yet you can go days without a real, honest conversation with another adult who truly gets it. You can feel completely isolated in the middle of a full house.

And here's what I've learned: that loneliness is not just uncomfortable. It's dangerous. Not because something is wrong with you, but because you were never designed to do this alone.

From the very beginning, God said it was not good for man — or woman — to be alone. We were created for relationship. Not just with God, but with each other.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

That's not just a nice sentiment. It's a description of how life works. We need people who will help us up when we fall. We need people who will tell us the truth when we need to hear it. We need people who will sit with us in the hard moments and celebrate with us in the good ones.

Motherhood especially needs this. Because motherhood is hard. And hard things are better together.

A mom tribe is not a perfectly curated Instagram group of women who have it all together. It's not a performance. It's not a competition.

A real mom tribe is a group of women who:

• Show up for each other in the mess, not just the highlight reel
• Speak truth in love, even when it's uncomfortable
• Pray for each other and with each other
• Point each other back to Jesus when life gets hard
• Laugh together, cry together, and eat a lot of food together

You don't need a big group. Two or three women who are truly committed to each other is more than enough. Jesus himself had an inner circle of three.

You can have wonderful friendships with women who don't share your faith. But there is something uniquely powerful about friendships rooted in a shared love for Jesus.

When your friend knows your faith, she can pray for you specifically. She can remind you of truth when you're drowning in lies. She can point you back to Scripture when you've lost your footing. She can celebrate God's faithfulness with you in a way that goes deeper than "that's great news."

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." That sharpening — that mutual growth and challenge — happens most powerfully when you're both being shaped by the same source.

Here's the practical part, because "find your tribe" is easy advice and hard reality.

Start at your church. Your local church is the most natural place to find Christian community. Join a small group, a women's Bible study, or a mom's group. Show up consistently, even when it feels awkward at first.

Be the one who reaches out. Friendships don't build themselves. If you meet a woman you connect with, be the one who says, "I'd love to get coffee sometime." Most people are waiting for someone else to make the first move.

Be honest from the beginning. Surface-level friendships stay surface-level. If you want deep community, you have to be willing to go first — to share something real, something vulnerable. It gives others permission to do the same.

Lower your expectations and raise your commitment. Real friendship takes time. It's built in the ordinary moments — the texts, the coffee dates, the showing up when it's inconvenient. Don't give up because it doesn't feel deep immediately.

Look online, but don't stop there. Online communities (like this one!) can be a beautiful source of encouragement and connection. But they work best as a supplement to in-person community, not a replacement for it.

If you've tried and still feel like you don't have your people — I see you. That loneliness is real and it's painful.

Keep trying. Keep showing up. Keep being honest and vulnerable and present.

And in the meantime, bring it to God. He is the ultimate source of belonging. He knows you completely and loves you fully. When human community falls short — and it always will, eventually — He is the one who never will.

Mama, you were not designed for isolated motherhood. You were designed for community — messy, imperfect, beautiful, life-giving community.

Your people are out there. Keep looking. Keep showing up. Keep being the kind of friend you want to have.

And when you find them — hold on tight.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together." — Hebrews 10:24-25